What You Can Do if You Witness
Bullying or Teasing
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good
men do nothing.”
- Edmund Burke
A major reason why bullying or teasing keeps happening is that
few witnesses ever stand up to it. Instead, most people who see
bullying or teasing either just watch or they “laugh along,” an
act which actually contributes to the problems caused by bullies.
What can you do to do something to stop bullying?
The following ideas start with the simplest, least influential
actions and then move to the more difficult, braver and more
helpful ideas.
1. Refuse to join in.
Bullies are almost always accompanied by followers who join in
their hurtful behavior. Often these people are “going along” with
things because they are afraid of the bully. Yet this decision
only encourages the bully to continue tormenting people.
Here’s what you can do: Instead of laughing along or joining
in with the teasing, just stay quiet. If you refuse to participate,
the bully has less encouragement to continue his or her behavior,
and you decision to “stay out of it” means that one
less person is hurting the bully’s target.
2. Walk away when a bully/teaser starts bothering someone.
Most bullies thrive on the attention they get from the people who
watch. When you physically remove yourself, you reduce the amount
of attention the bully is getting. Also, the act of walking away
may send a message that you don’t approve of what is happening.
3. Distract the bully/teaser so he or she stops.
Sometimes changing the subject, suggesting that everyone go do
something else, or telling an unrelated story or joke can prevent
a hurtful incident from happening. This is not a permanent solution,
but it may be enough to avoid more moments of discomfort for
one of your classmates.
4. Tell an adult about any bullying that you see.
Many students witness bullying or teasing but do not tell adults
because they don’t want to “rat out” someone
or be a “tattle tale.” But if you know someone is
being hassled or that someone is about to do something harmful
to someone else, telling an adult about the problem is taking
action to help solve the problem. Not telling is just like being
a part of the problem. If you really don’t want to name
the bully or teaser, you could say something like, “I’m
worried about Eric because people keep teasing him.” Taking
this step at least helps make adults aware of the problem so
that they can keep more specific watch on the situation or take
other actions to stop the teasing.
5. Speak out.
This step is a bit more difficult and takes courage. If possible,
get a friend or two to join you. When you see bullying, teasing
or excluding taking place, speak out against it. Simple phrases
like “Leave her alone”, “Stop picking on him”,
or inviting the target to do something with you can take away much
of the control or power that a bully/teaser thinks s/he has. The
last thing a bully/teaser wants is to feel alone or to feel like
people are against him/her. If you and other people protest, the
bully/teaser will be more and more uncomfortable and is likely
to stop the hurtful behavior.
6. Stand beside the bully’s target.
This is a highly effective way to deal with bullies/teasers. When
someone is being teased or intimidated, walk over and stand with
that person. Or simply invite him or her to join your group of
friends. You action will send a message that hurtful behavior
is not acceptable. If you manage to gather several people, the
bully/teaser will probably stop or go away. Keep in mind that
your behavior is not intended to hurt or pick on the bully. It
is meant to prevent the bully from making another person miserable.
7. Work with others to reduce bullying/teasing.
When students work together they can do a lot to create a safer,
friendlier school environment. One way to begin is to work with
teachers so that times can be set aside to discuss concerns about
bullying or teasing that is happening in school. You and your
peers can discuss ways to encourage students to try mediation
when there is a problem or to come up with suggestions for how
to support isolated or new students. You can come up with specific
suggestions for teachers and administrators on how they can help
support the effort – perhaps increase the amount of adult
supervision during breaks, or rearrange seating plans.
Finally, we can all take actions everyday which promote the opposite
of bullying/teasing: Kindness! It may help to think of kindness
as a muscle. Kindness has to be practiced to become effective and
strong and the natural way of being with each other. Your next
act of kindness may be enough to lessen another person’s
pain, to give someone hope, or to cause a bully to think twice.
If others follow your lead, you can change your classroom, your
school, your neighborhood, and even the world.
The choice is yours.
Here’s a pledge that students can take:
I, ________________________, wish to reduce bullying, teasing and
isolating in my school. I will:
- do my best to treat ALL my peers with respect and dignity.
- not isolate, threaten, hurtfully tease, exclude, insult, gang up on or mock
them.
- try to prevent or discourage my peers from bothering, humiliating, threatening,
isolating or harming others.
- try to assist ANY student who is being mistreated.
- let my teacher, counselor, principal, parent know when I learn about or see
hurtful behavior.
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