What is Harassment?

Harassment is any verbal or non-verbal action which creates for the target a hostile, intimidating or offensive learning (or work) environment.

Harassment is not only against school rules; it is against the law.Therefore, schools (and workplaces) have a legal obligation to provide an environment which is free of harassment.

What is the difference between mean teasing and harassment?
- Not much! Harassment is teasing that is deeply hurtful* and/or happens over and over.
- Harassment includes: written, spoken or body language communication that conveys hurtful
teasing, taunting, name-calling, bullying, insulting, swearing, threatening, purposeful
excluding, rumor spreading, and any other actions that violate a person’s physical or emotional
space. This can include violations against you personally, against a group who share your
personal characteristics (gender, race, religion, etc.), or against your family members.
- If you feel deeply hurt* and you have told a teaser to “stop,” and he or she does it again, it is harassment.

What is the difference between “fun” teasing and harassment?

Fun Teasing

Harassment

Feels good to the recipient

Feels bad to the recipient

Is wanted

Is unwanted

Deepens a friendship

Is degrading, insulting

Is not always appropriate

Is illegal

What are some ways I can tell if my words or actions are appropriate?
1. Would you want your words or actions reported in the newspaper or on the news?
2. Would you act in this way if your mom, dad, or teacher were standing beside you?
3. Would you want someone else to act this way toward someone you love?
If you could answer “no” to any of these questions, it is a warning sign to you that your
behavior could be interpreted as harassment.

What if I’m “just kidding?”
Harassment is defined by how the other person feels about what you are doing or saying,
not by what you say your intention was.

What should I do if I am being harassed?
1. Say “stop.” Use an assertive, feeling “I message.”
Example: “I feel angry and hurt when you do/say that. I need you to stop.”
2. a. If the person does it again, tell someone what happened. (teacher/ counselor/ principal and parent)
b. Write down what is happening. Keep a record.
(the date, place, description of what happened, who else saw what happened)
c. Tell the person that you are keeping a record of what is happening.
d. If you feel able, sign up for mediation with the person. This is another type of record.
3. If the harassment still continues, take all your records to the people who have the authority to take action. (principal/ counselor and parents, and when you are older, your boss)

* Feeling deeply hurt is very different from feeling irritated or bugged by someone. In order to be a strong, capable person, it is important to be able to let go of little things that bother you about other people. When people do or say things that you feel irritated by, you can still request that they stop and/or request mediation. At the same time, we all need to learn how to handle being and working with people who are different from us. In a caring community, we all need to be able to be ourselves and also try to act in ways that help those around us feel good.